I’m nosey, really nosey. Not in an offensive hoping to find some good gossip way, more of a love of studying people, their movements, body language and the way they speak, kind of way.
I especially love listening and watching the way my family speak and act.
At times it’s fantastic just to sit and watch the two Sons together, listening to their funny conversations and their laughter, like the delicious sound of water trickling over rocks.
Communication and words are fantastic and they’re also bloody funny when people get them wrong….
This seems to happen a lot in our family hence my reference to ‘Data’, from the film Goonies, in the title – JD reminds me of Data A LOT!! God love him, you can’t help but laugh at the things he comes out with. Examples: -
Watching TV and giving JD a scalp massage (and yes you’re right – it should be the other way round) after a while:
JD: ”mmmm this feels really sentinel, you know?”
Me: “Sentinel?”
JD: “Yeah sentinel, where it feels all nice and you know ….. niiice!”
Me: “You mean ‘sensual’”
JD: “Do I?”
Me: “I fricking hope so!”
Driving through the country on a family day out:
ME: “JD, you’re driving like a knob”
JD: “I am not I know these roads like the back of my hand”
Me: “Yes, but that doesn’t mean you should drive like a knob”
JD (getting red and angry at my ‘knob’ comment): “The kids are in the car I am hardly going to start driving all erotically with them in it, am I?!!!!!”
Me: “Erratically. Erotically means the arousing of sexual desire. You mean ‘Erratically’ ”
JD: “Right, you can drive”.
It’s not just JD that comes out with the corkers, the MSB and SSB hold their own in this subject as well. Examples:
SSB:-
I’m just pottering round the house doing the house work and take some washing up stairs where the SSB jumps out on me, holding a chop stick and cries:
SSB: “Beverly Tortoise!”
Me: “Pardon?”
SSB: “I said Beverly Tortoise”
Me: “SSB what are you saying bubs? I don’t understand?”
SSB: “I’m not SSB! I’m Hairy Porter!”
Me: “Oh! You’re Harry Potter, and the chop stick is your wand?”
SBB: “Yes that’s right, Hairy Porter. Now - BEVERLY TORTOISE!”
Me (due to my infinite Potter Knowledge): “Ahhh you mean ‘Levicorpus’! You’re shouting a spell at me!”
SSB (stomping off): “Mummy, you just don’t get this game!”
Eating dinner one Friday night:
SSB “Mmmm I love this Bersarnyard!”
JD: “What did he just say?”
Me & MSB: “He loves this Lasagne”
MSB:-
On getting a haircut:
Me: “How do you want your hair cut?”
MSB: “Like Justin Beaver’s”
Me: “You mean Justin Bieber?”
MSB: “Is that his proper name? ‘Bieber’? That’s just stupid!”
Me: “And ‘Beaver isn’t?”
(I’ve heard several other children refer to the small irritant as Justin Beaver rather than Justin Bieber which brings me to the conclusion that none of the kids actually like him and it’s all just an elaborate joke to wind him up)
On listening to my iPod:
MSB: “Have you got any Wobberly Williams?”
ME: “Robbie Williams?”
MSB: “Yep, that’s what I said”
Now this subject would not be complete if I didn’t add a couple of crazy Mumina conversations….
On Mumina, in the O2 shop, looking at mobile phones:
Me to the O2 Lady: “My Mother needs a touchscreen phone that can display a QWERTY keypad as she can’t get to grips with using the normal 1-9 buttons for a text message”
Mumina: “I don’t want it! It’ll show dirty finger prints on the screen. I won’t put up with finger prints on mirrors so I won’t put up with it on a phone!”
O2 Lady: “We actually do a touchscreen phone that comes with a stylus”
Mumina: “A What?”
O2 Lady: “It’s like a pen”
Mumina: “Well if I don’t want finger prints on a phone I’m hardly gonna want ink all over the sodding thing am I?”
On getting an iPad:
Mumina: “I want an iPat”
Me: “You mean an iPad, and why?”
Mumina: “Well I wanna text people and Sandra at work’s got one and she plays games on it. I might want to play a game one day”
Me: “You text from your phone Mum, an iPad is more for internet use and downloading things”
Mumina: “Sandra plays ‘Upset Birds’, she says it’s really good so I’m going to get one and you can’t stop me”
Me: “Ok then. But why don’t you start by getting the internet first?”
Obviously I make mistakes with words and phrases but considering this is my blog, you might not ever get to hear about those…. I will ensure to keep you posted on what the people in my life say as I’m positive they will keep coming out with those little gems!
In the words of Dr.Seus:
“From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere!”
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